this and that

Weight Loss so far: 14.2 lbs
Mood: Motivated
Appetite: Content

Victory for today: Got a full night's sleep (helpful in every facet of my life), so I feel great! Got to work, ate my snack/breakfast, and glanced over to my right and what should be resting beside the fax machine? Three GIANT chocolate chip cookies from Lenny's. GIANT. What did I do? Gave them away! Perfect solution because I wanted them, but didn't WANT them and they made other people really happy, so it was a win-win situation.

So, okay, its been a while. This is my constant struggle with blogs, and I was hoping it wouldn't be this way for this one. But the second I get one, I blog nonstop for, I don't know, 4 or 5 days and then nothing. BAH. I must remind myself that these things in my life are not all or nothing. But its hard for me. So I apologize, I will try to be better.

So last week was the last session of the Healthy Eating class I have been going to. Have I blogged about that? Hope had a 4 week seminar on the "Habits of Healthy Eating," just four classes (every Wednesday) with a nutritionist, Leslie Schilling. It was FANTASTIC...nothing too mind-blowing or stuff I didn't really already know, but here are some of the highlights:

-if you can't decide if you're hungry or not, you're not. (revolutionary, i know, but unbelievably helpful)
-diets don't work. you end of depriving yourself until you can't take it anymore. you don't fail diets, they fail you.
-we eat for many emotions (boredom, stress, comfort, celebration, etc). we SHOULD eat out of hunger, for enjoyment, and fuel.
-the second you step on the scale, you give your power away. your attitude towards healthy eating should not fluctuate with the number on the scale. its better to weigh yourself once every two weeks, or every month.
-the more you obsess about food, the more obsessed you become with it.
-you need to listen to your body-- it will tell you when its hungry.
-exercise is crucial.
-stop labeling a day "good" or "bad" based on whether or not you caved into cravings or ate things considered healthy or junky.

you can find her website here. At the end of the study, she had us set 3 non-weight related goals for everyday life-- things like "eat breakfast" or "don't weigh myself", and gave us a spreadsheet to check off whether or not we met the goals daily. My three things are:

-Take a multi-vitamin (I have several bottles, but somehow I don't think they are doing much by sitting in my drawer)
-Some form of exercise (whether its walking around the block, going to the gym, or just stretching for 30 min)
-Eating at least 3 fruits/veggies a day.

So, theoretically, by doing these 3 things daily, you are reinforcing "good" behavior and creating a habit-- important things in "normal" eating.

So here's to normal! :)

Exercise

Weight Loss so far: 7.8 lbs
Mood: Positive
Appetite: Full of chili (not the healthiest...! But delicious)



Long time, no blog. :)

So, okay, anyone who says exercise is a chore and obnoxious and unnatural, I pretty much agree with you. The last thing I want to do when I get home from class and work and grocery shopping and errands is put on my sweats and go to the gym. I would much, much rather put on my pajamas and watch TV and go to sleep. And that's what I was about to do when I got home yesterday, but I DIDN'T, which is huge for me. I sucked it up and did the right thing!

I've been elliptical-ing for, what, almost 4 weeks now, I can really really understand how people get addicted to exercise- its in my daily routine now and it just makes you feel so damn good! Plus, on days that I'm at work, I really don't move around much, and you eat to fuel your movement. When you're not moving and getting your heart rate up, that fuel is just being stored. I don't want to store my fuel any longer! :)

And can we talk about a mood improver? Man, its almost instant. Its so counter-intuitive to me. I'm used to giving in to things that feel and seem good in the moment and in the long run make me feel icky. But exercise is the exact opposite. Takes a little to push myself to do it, feels a little icky in the beginning, but makes me feel GREAT for the rest of the day. And really, wouldn't you prefer to feel great for the rest of the day verses momentarily. I know I would. And I bet you would too.

There are subtle victories that come with exercise (other than looking better and weighing less). I can walk faster, I don't get winded as quickly when taking stairs, I don't feel as stiff all the time.

Today hasn't been the "day of healthy choices" when it comes to eating-- I just finished a cup of chili one of the realtors brought back from an open house for me. I shouldn't have...but I forgot my granola bar and I was hungry. The more hungry I get, the worse choices I make, so I didn't want to keep pushing it- I ate little more than half of the cup and a 3 pt bag of potato chips and a 3 inch Lenny's sub. I will admit, not the best choices. At all. HOWEVER, I was hungry, I didn't OVER eat, and now I feel physically and emotionally satisfied without being uncomfortable or regretful, which is, I think, more important.

And I am planning on working out, after all. :) Its not what I plan on eating every day, but truly, I didn't go crazy with it. Its okay to indulge a little, everything in moderation. It doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Allow yourself to have a brownie now and then. Just don't sit down with the whole pan. And if you can't have just one, find a substitute that satisfies that craving. Because deprivation only intensifies the probability that you will give up.

And I will not give up.

Watch this... right now.

McNotsobad

Weight Loss so far: 7.8 lbs
Mood: Upbeat
Appetite: Not hungry

So this morning I forewent my normal grande non-fat caramel macchiato in favor of a little more hearty fair-- I'm trying desperately to incorporate breakfast into my routine (ok, maybe not desperately because I would have gotten up earlier and given myself time to make some...) because I know it has so many benefits and I feel better, etc, etc. I just normaly pick a coffee drink over food, when really they have the same perk-me-up effects, and I can chew on breakfast, right?

So this morning I planned on eating a healthy bowl of cereal, but having overslept as it was, I just didn't have time. However, traffic was lighter than expected and I had a few spare seconds to pick up something from dirty, unhealthy, and all-around-hated McDonald's. Now, McDonald's gets a bad rap for having unhealthy food-- not without cause, as you can see by the fat grams in their chicken strips and some of their hamburgers -- but its not all bad. Breakfast can be tricky, and deceptively fattening. For instance, looking at the calories and fat grams in their regular sized Deluxe Breakfast (without butter or syrup) nearly stopped my heart. HOWEVER, there are some gems-- and the Egg McMuffin is one of them. I LOVE Egg McMuffins-- and they are only 6 points! Which, for breakfast, is really quite good (that's about the same as my grande nf cm and a fiber one bar). Now, there are no vegetables to be found, and its just a sandwich, so if you add on hashbrowns and a fancy coffee, you could get pretty high in calories (though, shockingly, the hashbrowns are only 3 pts...not bad for fried goodness). And the Egg McMuffin doesn't leave you with that greasy, gross feeling after you eat it, a definite plus.

So all in all, McD's doesn't have to be danger zone or land of fat. But tread lightly...plus, who REALLY wants to eat microwaved eggs every morning?

headless Santa, lapse in judgement and willpower

So I got about 5 points into this 75% off hollow chocolate Santa before I threw him away. Some days are a constant struggle for me, and today was one of those days. I attempted to eat everything in sight-- thankfully what little, waning New Years willpower that I still have won in most of the cases. I would call this headless Santa a victory, but by the skin of my teeth (no pun intended).

This is hard. Changing habits you have had since you were tiny is VERY hard. But I know, know, know that it is worth it and that I can do it, even if I do have to slay a Santa here and there.

frustration

Weight Loss so far: 4.6 lbs
Mood: Frustrated
Appetite: Slightly less than satisfied.

Okay. I'm pissed. This is my problem: I (especially as of late) sometimes (quite often more than sometimes) prescribe to the all or nothing practice of things-- I know, I know, no way to live. I understand. Just a little is better than nothing at all. I know. So, because of this, I have the tendency to think that when I'm not doing something that if I could just get motivated enough to do the thing I'm not doing, it would work 100%. All of that to say this: I have been a perfect angel lately. Last week, I worked out 6 out of 7 days. I ate 5 (sometimes MORE) fruits or vegetables each day. I counted my points (and sometimes went over, but I wrote them down, and thats why I have 35 extra points a week). I FEEL better. My mood is better, my body feels more able, less drag-y. I have tons of energy post-workout. I felt for sure that my weight would reflect that. Yet, when I stepped on the scaled this morning (when you're supposed to be the lightest!) I am at exactly the same weight I was last week. Exactly the same as the week before that. WHATS UP, BODY?

This is where I run into problems. Because after two weeks of hard work, I expect to see some payoff. Instead, nothing. And I know there are so many different factors- maybe I am bloated and retaining water, maybe I've gained some little bit of muscle weight (and muscle burns more calories than fat when you're sedentary!), maybe I haven't been measuring things properly and thus have been recording poor data. I know all these things and still I can help but feel like a failure already. How negative is that?? "At least you haven't gone up and you are doing so well working out!" the little Janet Schulzke in my head exclaims reassuringly. "Well, drop the fucking number on the scale then!" the indignant, negative Liz Schulzke in my head shouts back, with the veins in her neck pulsing out.

I just needed to rant a little. The point is, it will pay off eventually. I KNOW that. Hard work and good eating habits only result in good things, this just may be slower than initially planned. And it makes weeks that I went to Atlanta, consumed a shitload of alcohol and greasey 1/2 lb burgers, and still lost 3 lbs look unbelievable. But in the end...everything catches up to you. Good AND bad.

Its just working on keeping the negative thoughts at bay before the good shows up that is keeping me busy today. :)

weight flux and grilled zucchini

Weight Loss so far: 4.6 lbs
Mood: Tired
Appetite: Satisfied

One thing that frustrates me about the new, polka-doted scale that I bought from Target on Wednesday is how honest it is. A scale doesn't lie and doesn't really allow for you to lie to yourself-- a relatively good thing when you are monitoring your weight. However, being a woman, a consumer of salt, water, & food, and a human that uses the restroom, my weight fluctuates up to a couple of pounds during the day. Making me positive in the morning when I weigh myself and it appears that I have lost 2 pounds overnight and angry at night when my weight returns to the previous days number. I think this is one of the many reasons I should just weigh myself once a week, around the same time of day, in similar weight clothes, and after peeing. But my scale is new and pretty and THERE. Funny to think that I would like doing something like weighing myself, but I think once you get over the initial shock of the number, its cool. Which reaffirms my aforementioned policy of not putting things off. Anyhoo.

Things are going well so far this morning. Had Starbucks inbetween commitments this morning-- I cannot say enough good things about their Spinach Feta Egg-White wrap. OMG- so good, filling, and only 5 points & $2.75! (That's 280 cal, 8 fibers, 9 fats for you calorie people) Best fastfood breakfast option out there- trust me, I've checked. (Starbucks is a favorite for me in January, because I got about a million gift cards for Christmas, so its free! Yay!) I am currently working on a DC with lime, and eating a Yoplait vanilla yogurt with fresh raspberries (my favorite). HOWEVER, I was just guilted into buying girl scott cookies from one of the agents. I couldn't say no, but I cannot have them in my house when they come in February. I will eat the whole box in two days without even realizing it--must give them away to some unsuspecting skinny person in need. They WILL NOT come home with me. Okay, thats solved. But I will need accountability come February...

Ate at an awesome restaurant last night-- Humdingers (I will not let the stomach cramps I had afterwards affect my views on it, because I think they were related to other emotions). So great! Everything is grilled (well, I think they had fried shrimp and calimari on the menu, but it was an appetizer) and its mostly fish and shellfish. I had assorted tacos and though its hard to say how many points they were because there is no nuitrition information available because its not a chain, they tasted fresh and healthy, and they had no cheese or heavy sauces. And the grilled piri-piri zucchini was unbelievable. Yum.

This weekend I am visiting my aunt and her house has always been a struggle for me. She keeps all kinds of sugar cookies, chocolate, bagels, and breakfast sweets in the house for guests and its not something I think I can handle indulging in right now without going overboard. However, she has a workout center in her subdivision so Mom and I are planning to make use of that.

Here's to a safe and happy MLK weekend!!

white bean chili

2 cups chicken stock
1 lb of boneless, skinless, chicken breasts (raw, chunked)
3 cans of white beans (I used a can of northern beans, cannellini beans, and navy beans for different sizes)
1 can of black beans (i know its called white beans soup, i like diversity, and it makes it quirky)
2 cups of salsa
a couple T of flour

Combine chicken stock and chicken in a slow cooker, cook a couple of hours on medium. Add the rest of the ingredients and cook the hell out of it.

1 c = 3 pts. I KNOW, RIGHT??

Its awesome.

skinny jeans

Weight Loss so far: 4 lbs.
Mood: Calm
Appetite: Satisfied

So I realized after I wrote last nights post that I set action steps but not really goals. I mean, yes, I want to be healthier, feel better, have a more positive attitude. But as far as concrete payoffs?

BOLD, long term goal: I want to lost 100 lbs, ultimately. It makes me quake a little bit, honestly. But that what this blog is about. Honesty. And honestly, that how much I want to lose (actually, maybe more, but I can't think that high or I will get discouraged and that's NOT my goal right now).

Midsized, not-so-long-not-so-short term goal: I want to fit into this pair of jeans I bought last year. They are beautiful- I got them on sale, and they didn't have my size, so I bought one size down, which they did have. But they are skinny (kind of) jeans, so they might as well be 2 or 3 sizes too small for me. They are dark, dark wash, with dark blue stitching, and would look so cute with some of my tops. But I can barely get them over my hips and can get no where near buttoning them. So yeah. By 2011, I want to be able to wear those jeans.

Short term: I'd like to lose around 7-10 pounds a month. That sounds like a lot, i know, but really its only 1.5-2.5 pounds a week, which is totally doable.

So all the ground work is layed. How am I doing today, you ask? Well, had Starbucks for breakfast this morning-- but a grande, non-fat Caramel Macchiato is only 4 pts-- 190 calories. Not bad at all, and oh so delicious with its two shots of espresso. Sugar and caffeine together? I'm in heaven. Right now I am eating a granny smith apple at my desk (1 pt) and have a Fiber-One peanut butter bar in my purse (2 pts). Usually I would scoff at Fiber-One bars (they are something my mother swears by, which usually turns me off of something, fearing it will be one step up from cardboard) but they are SO GOOD! I can't even believ how good they are-- kind of like the Quaker oatmeal ones, but WAY more filling and kind of candy-bar-esque. I'm not kidding. Chocked full of those peanut butter chips. Mmmm. Great mid-day snack.

Yay for maintaining momentum!

always a big girl, never a...little girl?

Hello, my name is Liz Schulzke and I am a food addict.

Addiction. What an interesting phenomenon. It is, in a nutshell, the supplement of tangible items for a deficient intangible quality to the point that it no longer suits its original purpose. At least that's my experience (I'm not a psychologist, I just live with one). And, trust me, when it comes to addiction, I have seen my fair share. The twelve steps might as well be the family creed for the Schulzke/Fuchs/Gerkers. And the first step? Admit you're powerless. Done. I am powerless over food. I have no willpower. Somewhere along the way I got it twisted that cake and chips and ice cream supplement love and comfort. And they don't. They just add to your waist line and make you unhappier-- a seemingly endless cycle.

Well no more. 2010, the year my life turns around. I will not longer make excuses, whine, and continue in my lazy procrastination. The things we put off just come back to us, bigger than ever. Boy have I learned that. So no more.

Acceptance is excellent, but I think a plan of action is even greater. I am powerless over my addiction to food...so what can I control? I can control what I keep in my house, how often I go to the gym, and my attitude. And my commitment to Weight Watchers. I have been a member on and off since I was...15? I truly believe in it; its like AA, a support system. I think a commitment like this can NEVER work without community and support. Check. So this is my pledge: I will count my points (honestly, even when I go 20 points over, I will still record it), I will eat my 5 fruits/vegetables, I will work out at least every other day. I will stumble. I will struggle. But I will succeed.

And I have never felt the way I feel right now--equivalent to how the majority of America felt right after Obama was elected: full of hope (ha, had to get that little liberal jab in there somehow). Its more than a good mood- its a shift in how I'm looking at my life. This is not a temporary fix, a diet, a quick solution. This will be a lifetime struggle--my weight already has been, so I know losing it won't be a walk in the park. But the thing is, I know, know, KNOW I am capable of battling it.

And the thing is...you are too. Join me in my quest for a healthier lifestyle. Let's change our worlds together.